Cold Kiss by Amy Garvey

Cold Kiss by Amy Garvey

Author:Amy Garvey [Garvey, Amy]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2011-09-19T21:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER FOURTEEN

DANNY WAS A SECRET FOR A LITTLE WHILE. Before he died, I mean. He didn’t have to be—it’s not like my mom was opposed to me having a boyfriend, even though I had to sit through the big sex talk after we got serious, which was epically awkward. I never thought I would hear my mom say “condom” so many times, although watching her unwrap one did make us both giggle, since she’d somehow managed to buy fluorescent ones.

I stopped her before she made me put it on a banana, though.

I wasn’t really worried about Jess and Darcia, either. We’d talked about boys since sixth grade, after all, starting with Bailey Sutter, who got tall before any of the other boys, and used to bump into Jess at every opportunity, which was as close to a declaration of love as you got at twelve.

Danny wasn’t the first boy I’d crushed on, but he was the first boy I couldn’t stop thinking about, the first one who made me itchy and nervous waiting for the phone to ring, the first one I wanted to climb all over, climb inside, take apart so I could see and touch every part of him.

I didn’t want to share him. It was a little bit like drawing a picture—I didn’t want anyone to see it until I was finally happy with it. And being with him those first few weeks was just as magical as learning what I could do had been, touching a flower and watching the color deepen, swooping the music on my iPod higher with a gesture. I was giddy with the way I could look at him across the cafeteria, find him smiling at me, and know that he was mine, that this huge thing that had happened to me was still just mine. No one could question it or taint it or ruin it—I could hold it, perfect and whole, as long as I wanted.

It didn’t last, of course. After a while, it got too hard not to let him take my hand in the hallway, or snug up behind me at my locker, his chin balanced on the top of my head as his hands snaked around my waist. After a while I wanted to share it, to show it off, to let the world see why I was smiling like a complete idiot half the time.

It’s not like that with Gabriel.

My phone buzzes that night, after I’ve run the last few windy blocks home, the taste of him still on my lips and my cheeks hot with shame and guilt. I know I should probably ignore it, but I don’t. I curl up under the covers instead, staring out the window as the bare branches of the tree outside scrape at the sky, and answer it.

It’s another secret, another lie, and the worst part is that I’m lying to myself this time. Telling myself that I’m only talking to Gabriel because there’s no one else, and because he might be able to help me figure out what to do about Danny.



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